My friend told me about her favorite YouTube video. It’s one of those where you watch someone else play a video game. She said it was so funny she nearly leaked joy through her jeans.
So I asked, “Which part is so funny?”
“You’re so condescending!”
Say what?
Her response hit me like a blue shell in Mario Kart. I wasn’t mocking her. I genuinely wanted to know. Personally, I don’t play games. Well—technically I do. I play games to numb my brain, not to enjoy them. So I don’t understand the appeal of watching someone else play. And it’s hard to imagine it being laugh-until-you-short-circuit-your-bladder funny.
But I wasn’t denying her joy. Her feelings are valid. I just… wanted to laugh with her. Not at her.
She was getting even more upset and said,
“You don’t ask comedians why something’s funny, do you?”
Well, I do.
Because I do comedy. And when a joke kills and I don’t get it, I need to know why. Was it wordplay? Timing? A cultural reference I missed? I want in on the laugh, too.
So I started explaining:
“Sometimes I ask because I want to understand—maybe it’s the language, or the culture…”
“Culture?! You’re so racist!”
Say what?
Apparently, the word culture was the real trigger.
“You think you’re smarter than everyone. That’s why I’m telling you—you’re so condescending.”
At this point, I was speechless.
Even in Japan, depending on the region, we watch different TV shows, eat different snacks, have different slang. If you’re not from the area, you might not get the jokes. Doesn’t everybody want to understand and connect better with people?
How are we ever going to laugh together if we’re afraid to ask why something’s funny?
Am I being insensitive? Or have we gotten so sensitive that even the word culture sets off alarms? If we can’t talk about culture, how are we supposed to understand each other? What do we call it when people grow up with different references, foods, humor, and habits?
If that’s not culture… what is?